of friends and change...

I read in some book by Stephen King...'your friends are what tie you behind'.

Don't really know why I remember this tonight. It had struck me as an odd statement and a very true one.

Friends.

As a teenager, I used to think I was the best thing to have happened to this planet in general...and to my friends in particular....and then I went on and made friends with a strange guy...a guy whose world was completely different from mine....I was an alien on his planet as he was on mine. He was arrogant, stubborn, rude....and not a very bright student. I was the nice and gentle....polite polished kid who was in the 'elite bright kids' group. But somehow our worlds touched and then everything went topsy turvy.

Suddenly I began to realize that there was fun beyond crushing your competitors in the exams, that most politeness is mostly hypocrisy....and polished snob attitudes were mostly assets of the coward who could not face the real world. And I began to learn.

Somewhere down the middle....his scores improved, he became less brazen, and the elite bright kid group became more inclusive. Study groups became more of fun and co-operation than competition...bicycles became more than just a mode of transport, cola drinks became less injurious to health....and school life became more 'cool'.

Then to High School....more pressure....more definite goals...more concentration on studies...and a close knit circle of friends. And then one day, we all went different ways. One in Boston, one in Silchar, one in Delhi, two in Bangalore, one in Pune and I in Tuticorin.

Its been many rains since. Many more friends, more groups...parties...cocktails...crushes...dates and dinners...heart aches...heart breaks...career...plans...lost contacts. Most of us don't even remember the last time we met. I got the picture of a few of us...in a group...the phone numbers of most....but then we all are busy with our jobs...our schedules do not match...ego clashes...heartbreaks..heartbreaks...heartbreaks...old feuds...changed priorities.

Sorry Mr. King. But I'm pretty sure you were wrong when you made that statement. Friends never hold you back. Most of us leave them behind, and don't turn back. Gradually all the promises made on slam books fade away...our Professional designations change...locations change...phone numbers change....It's so hard to keep track of everyone...and one day you forget to tell one of them of your new job...your new house...your break up...or the new girl.

And then one fine day, when you're at a conference, you get a call from an unkown number. Thank God I kept the cell in the silent mode. I call up and cannot recognise the voice that answers me back...and then she screams at me and I am stunned!!!

Renewals....and the whole process begins again....with an added flavour of nostalgia.

So many ways to keep in touch these days....phone calls....instant messages ...yahoo....rediff...google...gmail...orkut...and still it becomes so difficult to hold on.

Maybe at times its best to walk on and not look back.